Ugh. He calls several days in a row, I don't answer. I don't call back. Even if I really want to, I don't, because I've been down this road before and I know it is going nowhere. I am going to get my hopes up, and then... NOTHING. I have been waiting for more than TWO YEARS for this man to acknowledge that I mean SOMETHING to him, ANYTHING. And I have gotten nothing. If he says anything, he immediately negates it with a following comment, or it sounds hollow right from the beginning. I always felt that if you want something badly enough, and it's important enough to you, you find a way to get it or do it. You just MAKE IT WORK. So I guess I feel that I wasn't important enough to him. That he just didn't want to have me as a wife that badly. Of course, he would sit there and say "well I could say the same thing about you", and I suppose he could, but I'M not the one that FILED, and I NEVER had the power to put a stop to the divorce. Only he did, and he chose NOT to. I'm still hurt over this whole thing, I guess. I just want to move on and stop hurting.
Then he leaves me messages, and when I don't return them, he leaves one where he's obviously mad, and says "well, just have the kids call me if you don't want to talk to me", and THAT sure as hell doesn't make me want to talk to him. He tries to lay this guilt thing on me!! WTF??? HE divorced ME!!!! And not for nothing, but I have a LOT MORE going on than him -- I am the one that has TWO KIDS to take care of EVERY DAY, I work full-time, I take care of EVERYTHING -- by the time I get a chance to sit down at the end of the day, I'm ready to pass out! I don't get a whole lot of free time to talk to ANYONE, so WHY THE HELL would I want to waste it on him and false hope???
This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!
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